Post Partum

Child birth and recovery can look different for every mother and it can be different with every birth. Here is my recent experience with baby boy #4 that I don’t remember experiencing with my others.

Baby blues. I’ve heard of post Parfums depression before, I even experienced it to some degree with my first child. But I never heard of baby blues until the hospital with my 4th son. They briefly mentioned it and gave me a booklet with info to take home. I actually read this very helpful post child birth care book (more like a large panflit) and it was extremely informative. What is baby blues? Well apparently it differs from ppd with the timing of it. It often sets in on the 3rd or 4th day (4th day for me once I got home from the hospital) where all of a sudden I started experiencing weepiness. Like not a tearful moment but boohoo weeping for what felt like no reason at all. It also shouldn’t last more then a week of two. It’s your hormones adjusting. I loved my baby, I loved my other children. I wasn’t even overwhelmed. I just would have sudden moments of weepiness and sadness come over me. I wasn’t alone but I felt lonely. It didn’t help that I am also a physical touch person and well my husband was trying to give me space to heal but what I really needed was extra touch, hugs, affection. Mind you I had my 4th csection so my husband was trying to be respectful to my recovery and not be too much to me. I didn’t communicate I was going thru this for 2 days. So now im 6 days post birth, and 2 days of weepiness. I told my husband I needed more affection and I was all over the place with emotions. He listened and tried to help. But it wasn’t til I told him how much I was crying and was real about how sad I was. He then encouraged me and prayed with me. He started to increase my hugs (so needed for me) and be more intentional with checking how I was doing and not being left alone so much. I understand how hard it is for husband’s who aren’t experiencing physical healing to their bodies to just stay home and help out with the kids and just “be there” but husband’s, that’s so necessary to your wife’s healing. Emotionally and physically. Its not the time to do big home projects or be doing outdoor chores. It’s the time to sit on the couch with your wife and talk to her, hold her, hold the baby, tend to the hungry, thirsty, and messy older siblings. It’s the time to see a mess and clean it up so mom doesn’t have to look at what she can’t clean up herself because she is healing. It’s the time to just be there for your family. Even if you’re bored scrolling on your phone or watching TV. It’s the time to change the diaper of the toddler without your wife having to ask you. It’s not the time to make a bunch of commitments to events and other people. It’s the time to simply “be there”. Your wife may say she is fine, and she may be fine, but she will be great if she knows you’re choosing to set aside your agenda and plans to just be there for her and your family. Show her that you care. If you can set aside time to minister to a friend in the middle of your work day, you can set aside time to take her to her and babies Dr. Appointments.